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My basic principle on regrets is - don't have any. Not only are they just mental poison, but maybe what you are regretting would have not turned out as you are thinking.

The most abstract general way I can think of is that timing runs differently (someone talks shorter or longer for example) and that timeline change of those effected puts one of them in a situation where they are the victim of something, such as a car accident. Earlier or later crossing over the street. 

Writing things up to share is kind of optional, but writing things down is very helpful. In general, whatever you're dealing with. So for regrets you might want to write out a clear description, and what you are worried would have gone right but didn't, and what might have gone wrong. And why you shouldn't worry about it.

That's a powerful tool. Whenever it pops in your mind, you can immediately dismiss it as you've already written it down.

Things that might be a problem if discovered are still useful to write down. And if possible try to memorize the why not worry kind of stuff. Then destroy it. Having written it down can free the mind of the clutter as resolved, and it might never pop up again. And having the knowledge you wrote it down once, if needed, you can do that again. If you end up doing that cycle write it down, then destroy it, repeatedly, you'll probably find the most relief from professional help. Real human direct help, not over the internet stuff.

Sharing some, where appropriate, without names and such details unless arranged appropriately.

The benefit of sharing should be for others, and helping them avoid a similar situation. Sharing out of revenge will only bring trouble.

This without a doubt is the biggest regret of all.

It was never intended to be mean or anything, and was just a stupid mistake.

If I had lessons on how to behave as an adult around children, I would have known to not say this.

Think of it as some kind of mental disease where when there is a lack of something and I just say something to throw something in so there is something.

I was sitting across a table from a girl while visiting some friends. We were kind of just looking at each other, So then for no reason and without thinking about it I just blurted out a statement about one of my opinions. She didn't really respond I think, and it just died at that. It seemed.

It cascaded into a significant change in the family's lifestyle.

Good or bad, that doesn't matter, it should never have happened.

If I had gotten lessons I guess this one would have been covered in "Say only positive things".

One of my biggest concerns is the environment, and following things going on, I'm not happy.

So I said to her something like "we received such a beautiful world, and we are destroying it".

It's sad thinking of that one stupid mistake. 

So I do believe it would have been her father that she asked what I was talking about. And it explained that I'm concerned about climate change.

As a result the family went vegetarian, with fish, not vegan. But no more meat.

Of course that's not wrong in many ways, and for sometime when I had a good paying job I lived pure vegan, and liked it. Except expensive, and a big change.

So it's not a bad thing, but it's something that would not have happened if I didn't make that mistake. At least not at that point in time.

I do regret this. And probably nothing really wrong would have happened if I did it. But this is only for my own personal enjoyment, even if a bit mean.

Someone I had been eating breakfast with would get cheese from a farmer that also had some cheese he made in some little shack, and not very well, intentionally. Something about not turning it over when needed and such. And often there were strange spots from whatever random bacteria got in there. Sometimes producing very strange flavors.

One time it had a definite flavor of cow manure. My friend would just refer to it as a cow stall flavor. But either way, definitely not what you would call delicious. Disgusting would be a better description, but the flavor was very mild. Clear, but mild. We managed to finish it off. I don't think he dare shared it with anyone else, which he often did, as he gets whole wheels of cheese, sometimes a couple if cheap enough or something.

So I thought about it a bit, maybe even joked about it, but didn't do this, but I really wish I had.

A family that are friends of mine had heard about this cheese purchasing, but maybe not yet about the ones that have bad flavor. And without having said anything about this one, I could have shared some with them, arranging to get their opinions in a group taste testing. The kids were young teen to preteen age.

Just to see their reactions would have been so fantastic. Probably the best experience in my life.

Oh well.

I can't technically regret this specifically, but maybe I should have tried to think of something to do. Of course I should have said some kind of caring words, but that was not normal in our family, so I don't have much experience giving or getting. Can't regret that, and Mom got over it after a few moments.

Someone wrote a very mean and nasty letter to Mom bitching her out for littering.

Mom realized what happened, and it was obvious what an asshole this guy was, but still she was hit hard by being wrongly chewed out in such a manner and no chance of responding. What had happened is that some magazines of hers that she put in recycling were being transported and some must have flew off of the truck. Mom would of course never just throw out magazines on the freeway.

Decades later I thought of this - I could have gotten the letter from her and wrote one to the editor of the local newspaper, quoting that and bitching him out. And if I had a way to find out who - get them to pay up for emotional damages. And an ad maybe for information or something, and that might then get also more attention in the newspaper. (To put in perspective - this was before public internet and people had computers at home, except hobbyists.)

I can't regret this as much, because 3 other adults did the same thing. Crossing a street, we had the walk signal but there was an ambulance racing down the street. The adults stopped and did not even start crossing. Then some older teenagers, possibly young adults just started crossing as though there was nothing and kept chatting amongst themselves. As the ambulance approached they were confused, slowed down and eventually crossed. The ambulance slowed down until they were finally out of the way.

Yelling that one simple phrase might have been enough. Maybe not that I can yell that loud, but others might have joined in, and they would have gotten out of the way faster.

I probably could never think of the best response, analyze risks, decide and then yell fast enough - "get back here, wait for the ambulance". But if one of us had done that, the ambulance could have proceeded at full speed. Unfortunately a lot of people might not dare for fear of being retaliated against by the people unclear on how to respond when hearing a siren.

Often I try to help people, and sometimes that proves beneficial. Many times is unwanted or unnecessary, but one time it went so wrong.

It was a toddler that was strapped in a stroller thing or whatever and wanted out so bad. I just wanted to keep him company, but he made it so clear I went and asked his mother. She let him out and instructed me to keep him in a specific area. He wanted to go everywhere, but with some help from others, he never got away at least. And at one point some girls started playing with him, and he was having so much fun. Then we ventured totally somewhere else. I can't remember if that was intended, I think so, or he just got away and I caught up with him. In any case he's having fun running around, then as we were next to a couple of guys, one of them said something about him being in danger - they were playing some ball game, and bingo - I screwed up.

I wasn't really in a "babysitting" mode, and that's not really my thing anyway. But this kid is so happy and cheerful, he's fun to be around, and I like helping so it was logical to help the kid enjoy life.

When I heard "danger", and being just really relaxed that day, it was a group BBQ, I reacted without even trying to stop and think. Suddenly a kid in my temporary charge is in danger, so I grabbed his clothing, and tugged him this way. Well, he didn't respond like expected and fell on his butt. Started crying like crazy. And he doesn't cry much it seems.

Now to make things even stupider, I was still focused on "get kid away - danger", again without really thinking, and then I picked him up directly, without trying to console him or anything first. And this is the really stupid part - the way I picked him up - I can best describe as though he was a naked popping baby, which he was not. But literally at arms length. I did say sorry.

Luckily his mother came quickly, and further damage was mitigated.

To make things a little clearer, I didn't like being touched as a kid, or really ever, and so for me it's the same for other kids. So I try not to touch them, cause to me they wont like it. Even though I see them constantly being held and touched, etc. So that's why the tug on the clothes, and holding at arms length.

In time I realized a number of things, interesting to me at least.

First one was that I was amazed at the number of times I've been babysitting or in charge of kids somehow, that nothing like this had ever happened or even close. But this mistake was so easily made, I'm kind of "frightened about what might have happened". Luckily nobody I know now would need a babysitter, so no problem further.

I've always regretted a tiny bit about when I had been babysitting that I was not at all being entertaining or interesting or anything. And it's a very tiny bit - as in - get someone else! Even a random stranger off the street would have a better chance of being entertaining than me.

The other thing I realized is that this was the first person I had caused pain. Certainly I've never hurt anyone or tried to intentionally. Accidentally, well I had to think a lot about that, but I cannot remember anything before this where someone felt pain because of me.

I even thought a long time about "fighting" with my brother when we were kids. I cannot remember any physical contact even, just a lot of yelling (my brother is hard of hearing and wouldn't wear his hearing aids), and some door slamming.

I had never thought about it, but it's always just an assumption kind of thing. But that's a goal I cannot have any more - not having caused any pain to someone else. 

Follow up on that.

Another gathering like year later. I saw the kid heading away from the group, and possibly could walk into traffic, although that was a little ways away. So I went with him. He asked me to help him balance on a near ground tight rope, and I did and that worked well. And shortly another small kid came in the area and they started playing together, so I was "relieved of duty". I was happy, the kid was having a good time the whole time, no dangers.

That was a nice end for me for that. But always with the negative side of watching kids having fun and enjoying life, knowing that I and many others were robbed of that, and still many more victims to come whose lives will be destroyed. 

When IBM first released the IBM PC, I almost bought one. If I had, my life would have been quite different. The question is would it have been better, or maybe things went way wrong.

Obviously not only would I have been ahead of the game in learning and being able to do things with computers, but if I had kept it, and original IBM PC, especially in good condition, is a valuable collectors item. There may have even been a profit, including after adjusting for inflation.

Remember at this time, a computer in house was a rarity. Internet was there but completely private still.

So I called on an analog phone to a company in a computer magazine (on paper, mailed to subscribers) and started placing an order. I wanted to try and haggle the price down. I had plenty of money for the $2,000+ computer, but that was a lot more than I had spent on any one thing, so I was a bit hesitant. So I asked him to hold the order until the next day and I would call back and let him know yes or no. I didn't, as I remembered, I was still hesitating and thinking "not yet" mainly.

Then a package came at the door, cash on delivery. I could have written a check right then and had the computer. I didn't. 

I told him I would call back, but it was sent anyway. I called him and complained. He said he left the order on his desk and someone picked it up and put it through. 

Well, I just dropped it at that point, and never bought a computer for myself until many years later. 

My life is just miserable which ever way. But I'm glad I ended up focusing on Europe and where home is, and rejecting the u.s.a., finally. One way this might have gone bad is that if I had gotten an earlier start in making money on my own with the computer, I might have gotten so busy with that, I might never have come to the conclusion I need to be elsewhere.

We were being outsourced. Very large company trying to reduce their high IT costs, and faltering usage of computer and telephony technology.

The company doesn't like firing people, and had a higher priority on moving to another position than firing people.

When the new outsource company came in, we were all given temporary jobs, very few longer term, and had to sign a contract with them to accept it.

Unfortunately, they made a very bad choice in who they went with, and that is another regret that I didn't go to the top bosses and inform them of their mistake. They did later dump this company and went with the right choice.

But I signed that, and I'm not sure why. Just doing normal I guess.

I should have not signed it, and before it was due, I should have gone to human resources and said I'd rather stay working in the kitchen or anything than quit for this other job. Maybe I could have done something more clever, but I always avoid tense and involved situations. But I had written a program and scanned all the workstations on the network for massive security violations. Anybody a little bit clever could have broken into almost all, systems with ease, and the mainframe by tapping workstations for typing in passwords.

Again, the thing is what if I got stuck in this, and never moved on with life.